You would think that having not left the hangar before 11:00pm the last 5 nights I would have had plenty of time to update well boredom finally got the best of me and here it is.
A few things have happened in the sprawling metropolis of Norman Wells since the last report…
It was looking pretty bleak for material. Initially I had typed up this little tale of how it rains bugs in the hangar, a crazy phenomenon of which I had never witnessed before.
The brief version is this:
No matter how often I sweep or mop the hangar floor within minutes little fly carcasses are found everywhere. I documented the evidence CSI style; careful analysis of the scene revealed to me that the cause of death was the skylights.
The Horsefly’s get into the hangar and buzz around aimlessly, can’t find their way back to the real big door that they entered through and head for the bright light from the roof. Still buzzing they then begin bashing their little heads on the translucent roof until they finally tire right out and take a 30foot plunge straight down… 100’s of them. It’s a losing battle and almost imperative that appropriate PPE be donned in the hangar to keep them from falling into your hair. Fortunately things perked up a little around here and I don’t have to tell anybody that story.
Since then we have had all sorts of events occur here.
Celebrity
International intrigue.
And drunk guys.
So the drunks showed up just over a week ago when they poured themselves and 2200lbs of gear off a Caravan. Three of them up this way to plumb up some new fuel tanks at tower sites for Northwest Tel. A good portion of their equipment never showed up so they did what they know best when faced with such a situation…Started drinking. Undaunted, for the next couple of days they organized what they did have, stopping only to replenish supplies, which is no mean feat here considering that the liquor store opens at five with “strict” daily limits and they were back at their hotel by 6.
It’s sheep hunting season right now. Great time to either have been a resident of the Northwest Territories for 2 years or be somewhat well off and come from somewhere else. I had been told that the only reason that this base goes a little nutty in summer is because of all the tourists loaded with smoke-poles or launching pointed sticks at the critters. One of the first of the clients turned out to be somewhat well known in hunting circles. He showed up to the hangar looking like the fatter southern cousin of Clark Kent and when the idea of a pre flight safety briefing was brought up he quick changed into the Redneck Messiah. Complete with camera crew. Seems that this particular fellow owns his own bow hunting company and the best way to promote his product is run around in a fancy outfit with a fat guy and a digital video camera. Turns out that fat guys and bow hunting is good business. During his flight to the lodge he was mentioning that he just bought a new helicopter of his own. An EC120, apparently he had an R44 but he didn’t like the squeaking sound of the drive belts.
Not long after my brush with fame the Drunk guys spilled into the hangar. They had all their gear and wanted to know when they could get a helicopter. Could be a couple of days I told them, but that was no problem because the budget was padded and they had plenty of beer.
So there I was again pondering the days “rainfall” in the hangar when I thought I heard the sound of sirens. All of a sudden there was the sound of thunder. Not real thunder but jet engine kind of thunder. Odd considering that the Canadian North flight left two hours previously and wasn’t due back for at least another 20. I felt it time to leave my post in between the telephone and the broom to again further investigate. I thought it was an invasion. Really sleek and fast military jets were orbiting the airport. They didn’t look like anything we owned. We are close to an air defense zone where all traffic is to identify themselves and their intentions before entering. Perhaps a Canadian military escort to the nearest airstrip was occurring. Nope a little more exciting than that apparently.
For weeks one of the guys here was always joking about the Swedish Bikini Team dropping by for a visit and when the Swedish Air Force showed up he thought not only had his dreams come true but they also came with a military escort. The Swedes were in fact making their way from Yellowknife to Fairbanks for some big military exercise when one of their fancy new aircraft had a little issue. The life support system on board one of them had a malfunction and being that everything these days is controlled by computers, the super fancy jet plane has this 20 minute warning system. That is, should the life support system fail the pilot has 20 minutes to willingly put the plane on the ground. If 20 minutes should somehow pass and the plane is still airborne the on board computers default reaction is to ensure the pilots useful consciousness. This is made possible by automatically ejecting the pilot from the aircraft… Whether he or she is willing or not.
A distress call was made, CYVQ was in lockdown and all was well, save for the one pilot here who is still traumatized about the fact that scantily clad blondes failed to deplane from the big Hercules that tagged along for support.
A day or so later and little excitement occuring,one of the two drunk guys called from the tower they were at wondering whether or not the third was coming out with the 204 that night-the machine was being utilized to move few large fuel tanks- with their dinner. Seems that the 10 beers that they brought along for lunch was just not cutting it and they were getting a little peckish. Sure enough Randy showed up with his maximum allowable daily ration (one flat and a 40oz bottle) and all was good with the world again. All of this crazy intrigue around town and I haven’t even mentioned the little forest fire just to the south of town. Nothing terribly exciting save for another one of those old Buffalo DC-4s rumbling right next to us for a couple of days.
Oh! oh!!!
I almost forgot about the hunters that had to be rescued two days ago because during one of the little storm cells that have a habit of developing during the afternoon in the mountains, the thunder spooked their horses and they went on a flyer not to be seen again. After 4 days without transportation they too poured themselves from one of our machines not long after our other drunk guys disembarked after a prematurely shortened stay at their tower site. I suspect that the special order of tequila they picked up that morning didn’t survive the three days they had intended. I am not yet convinced that I have seen them sober since their arrival and would love to give these guys the benefit of the doubt as I didn’t have the opportunity to greet them yesterday morning. However the 204 was dispatched out to the site again in the afternoon but had to hold back and wait for the delivery of two important items:
Clean laundry and another flat.
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